Escapist

by Michael Musumeci

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06:00
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06:22
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06:05
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04:09
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04:09
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02:56
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03:36
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04:41
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10:00

about

Creating this record has been a very long, personal adventure now spanning five years. It was back in 2009 that I decided I was ready to commit to the massive challenge of engineering my first solo record. To create something pure, for better or worse, free from artistic compromise of any kind. But it takes a village to raise a child and this child knew nothing of computers, let alone how to produce a polished record. My good friend Trevor Parscal not only gave me the encouragement I needed, but even more practical...his old apple computer equipped with recording software.
...And so it began.

(Note: my laptop containing all of this music was stolen out of my home the day after I finished mixing the final track...but I was extraordinarily fortunate to get it back just a few hours after it was stolen. After all those years of work, It came so close to never happening.)

So, I would like to thank the people who helped bring this record into fruition.

To my Mother and Father,
You have supported my musical endeavors from the time I pressed my first piano keys. My father, whom (unbeknownst to my grandparents and mom) let me cash in one or two college bonds so to pay for my first bass guitar when i was 16 and needed it to start a band. But more importantly, in doing so, sending the message that he had my back, and believed in what I was trying to do. (That bass guitar is used on this very record.)
Thanks to my mother, who tolerated me setting up a makeshift recording studio in the living room (when I was forced to move back home for what was then, the first time) and then also in my sisters old bedroom. (for what was then, the second time returning home.) And for all of the love a mother could give to her 20-something, anxiety stricken, musically obsessed son, who wasn't always in the sunniest of moods.

Trevor Parscal,
Thank for your vast computer knowledge you patiently shared with me, and always replying to my countless texts and calls, at all hours of the day and night, to answer my seemingly endless line of technical questions. This Record would not exist without your friendship.

Sarah Bridges,
Apart from a long list of other unrelated gratitudes...I'd like to thank you for loaning me your computer speakers when I could not yet afford proper studio monitors...For listening to my hundreds of revisions and remixes of songs. For bringing a piano into your home, just for me to play...for all of your patience, and all of your love, I am forever grateful.

Brian Espinosa,
Thank you for all of your hard work making and maintaining my website, for helping me "acquire" the very programs I used when making the record, and for loaning me that beautiful guitar that I used in so many recordings.

Jennifer Fertado,
Thank you for letting me use your devilishly angelic voice on so many songs...and for never shying away from the provocative lyrics I made you sing.

Joe Perez,
Thank you for lending me all your various talents over the years, whether vocally, instrumentally, or visually. And for always being an objective ear, letting me purge grandiose, manic ideas onto you. Our conversations always leave me feeling more enthusiastic.

Chris Pagan,
Thank you for dusting off the old trumpet for me and laying down that triumphant part. Also for recording my piano song in monterey. (Didn't know at the time, that little piece would make an appearance on the record but it worked out well.)

Devin Dobson,
Thank you for the exceptional work on my music videos, and for your patience, creativity, and generosity. You helped bring my visions to life, and helped make some of my wildest dreams come true.

Danny Casentini and Robbie Kimzey,
Thank you for spending that day with me in your rehearsal room recording drum parts. Even though the recording that day did not make it into the album, that performance heavily inspired what would end up being the final version.

And finally, to all of the characters that have come into my life, who've inspired music and given me such rich memories, thank you.
...wherever you are.


_Michael

credits

released October 31, 2014

All music and lyrics written, performed, and engineered by Michael Musumeci except where noted.

Mastered by Scott Goodrich at NuTone studios.

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Track Name: Celebration
I’m afraid that I may
be losing my head
But this is the happiest that I
That I’ve ever been

You see my problems are
The same as my solutions
I party by myself most nights
But it’s no celebration

I’m afraid that I may
Already be dead
And this must be hell destined to haunt myself
Relentlessly, endlessly, for my sins

I walk around this place like a headless goat
While I see the sheep get stuffed full of the holy ghost
I’m polite and I’m pleasant like a talk show host
Pantomime all the lines in my horoscope

Que sera que sera what will be will be
The future is not ours to see
But I do
When I dream

Hey apathy
Will you kill the pain inside of me?
Hey apathy
You give me all that i need
Track Name: Prelude
She walks above me on the wire
Like a performer in the circus
I burn below her in the fire
Waiting for her chemicals to lose their balance
(Then I will devour)

Wish I may I wish I might become the apple of your eye
With a butterfly net I’ll catch you
She pulls me like an undertow, a wilderness, a puppet show
With a butterfly knife she’ll cut you

I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want

She can see right into my soul
She blows her kisses through the holes
This ache of love is nothing new, the poison on the sugar cube
That smile may prove to be just as lethal
She dances like an angel with her halo ‘round her ankles
And her heart on her sleeve, and it’s beating for me

I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want

I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want
I would do anything you want
I will do anything you want
Track Name: Escape Velocity
You claim
that nothing makes it go away
There’s nothing I could do or say
To make you stay

This world
All it does is cause you pain
So you must “alleviate”
To make you sane

La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la

In space
The stars all lose their names
And no one knows my face
And I will find my place
Among the fallen saints

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There’s no knowing where we’re rowing
Or which way the river’s flowing

In space
The stars all lose their names
And no one knows my face
And I will find my place
Among the fallen saints
Among the fallen saints
Among the fallen saints
Among the fallen
Track Name: No Earthly Way
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There’s no knowing where we’re rowing
Or which way the river’s flowing
Track Name: Ghost
If I close my eyes
I can see the way your body lie
You never leave my mind
Like a melody you mesmerize

I can hardly sleep
haunted by the scent
Of you in my sheets
How could I forget
I can see it clear
Haunted by the sex In my ceiling mirror

Now you see her
Now you don’t
Like a fever
Like a ghost

If I close my eyes
I can still feel the way you burned deep inside
And you, you never leave my mind
You’ve become a phantom, a fantasy, I promised I’d never say…goodbye

If I sleep
As deep as I can
I’ll find in dreams I can have anything
In dreams I have you back
Track Name: Déjà Vu
All the world is a stage
But won’t you please tell me your real name?
I swear I won’t tell a soul

Eyes burn like the fires of hell
I can’t help myself
I am under your spell

I come inside
Lights flash and shine

Flesh moves all over the room
Sweat, sex and perfume
Make your dreams come true

(she says)

“I’ve been dancing here all night long and I have been waiting for you”
She takes me by the hand and leads me into her confessional booth
I tell her of my sins, she grinds my lap and she grins, asks me “baby is this where it hurts?”
Strangers have the sweetest candy and this one's offering hers

I fantasize
What it'd be like
Inching deeper inside
I could eat you alive
Track Name: Déjà Vu.
I’ve been waiting here all night long for you, where have you been?
She wraps her arms around my waist and says she had to work late again
Then the tears cascade down the devils angel soft skin
She takes my shaking hands and puts them on her heart and tells me “This is where it hurts, and this is where it ends”

Cause all the high heels and short skirts
Just make the pain that much worse
You know the highs are lasting so much shorter than they ever did before, is this what you think you deserve?
Is this what you believe that we deserve?

We could run away
Let me get you out of this place this place
We can go to San Francisco or your sisters in L.A.
We can become something different, yeah maybe we can be saved

She says
“Oh darling, all the world’s a stage”
and she says
“Oh darling, all the world’s a stage”
Track Name: Hangman
I wrote you a song
To remember me when I’m gone
I know what I’ve done
And i know there is no place to run

The trap is set like the sun, soon my neck and my shadow will both stretch long
My future hangs on a thread, dangling at the bottom of a beam on that hill

No kingdom come
No forgiveness, and no pardon
Just the beat of his drum
Is the last song, for the hangman, he comes
Track Name: Thick As Thieves
Driving down the freeway with my eyelids shut
Counting fast frantic seconds, until I open them up
You’ve got your hand on the wheel, I’ve got my foot on the gas
Time slows down like honey, I let go, I feel alive at last

Here in the womb we feel so light
The street lights start to blossom and scribble in the sky
We drove for miles and miles, highs angels, through the fog
With our hearts on fire, waves of pleasure, burning surging through our blood

You and me
Are thin as weeds
Tonight we’ll be
As thick as thieves

Our eyes we’re swallowed up by black ink pools
Inhibitions and clothes flew away like balloons
My aura burst at the seams, we cleaned and purged our souls
Mascara ran all down her cheeks, she never looked more beautiful

I kept my heart safe in a tourniquet
Bound and caged in my ribs, to keep from bleeding to death
She let it loose from its prison, she went and made it her pet
She promised to return it the day the smoke returned to her cigarette

You and me
We’re thin as weeds
In time our dreams
Would die like leaves
Track Name: Camerman
You’re my favorite movie star

And don’t you try and tell me
That everything is happening for a reason
The cameras are rolling
And chaos is all that they’re seeing

The villain of the scene
Is the voyeur watching everything
From the safety of his screen

How many sidewalks have you thrown up on?
Baby how many bathrooms have you fucked in?
Maybe I could have saved you but I was just your cameraman

Glass of wine and she’s feeling fine
She feels the sunrise on the inside
Though it’s the middle of the night

A couple bottles later and she starts to wonder
How she’ll hide her suicide from the neighbors
But she’s not brave enough to try

Can’t hide
The killer in those eyes
They illuminate at night

How many sidewalks have you thrown up on?
Baby how many bathrooms have you fucked in?
Maybe I could have saved you but I was just your cameraman

Tell me how many hits till you feel better?
Baby how many licks to get to your center?
I want you now more than ever, it’s sickening
Track Name: Sandcastle
Someday my body
Will return to the sea
And I’ll shed off my armor
To release my true being
And my skeleton will wash shore
On a distant land
And children will fashion my bones into a castle
Atop the sand

And it will be magnificent, yeah suited for a king
And people will travel from far just to see
A sculpture of perfection, something wonderful and grand
Something far greater, then when those bones held up a man
Track Name: Time Machine
If you had a time machine
And you could go back to only one moment
What would you say?
Would you be afraid?

To see him through the window of his room
Lying on his bed, big thoughts in his head
Dreaming of you
Counting on you

Green glow-in-the-dark sticker stars
Swirling in a ceiling fan galaxy
And posters on the walls of the gods
He was predetermined to grow up to be

Did I do all I could do?
Did I give all that I had?
Did I listen to my heart…
Or my head?

To sit down with the ten year old little “you”
And explain to him why none of his dreams come true
What would you say? (Kyrie)
Would you be ashamed? (Kyrie)

Green glow-in-the-dark sticker stars
Swirling in a ceiling fan galaxy
And posters on the walls of the gods
He was predetermined to grow up to be

Did you do all you could do?
Did you give all that you had?
Did you listen to the child in your heart?
Our heart
…my heart