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Escapist

by Michael Musumeci

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1.
Celebration 06:00
I’m afraid that I may be losing my head But this is the happiest that I That I’ve ever been You see my problems are The same as my solutions I party by myself most nights But it’s no celebration I’m afraid that I may Already be dead And this must be hell destined to haunt myself Relentlessly, endlessly, for my sins I walk around this place like a headless goat While I see the sheep get stuffed full of the holy ghost I’m polite and I’m pleasant like a talk show host Pantomime all the lines in my horoscope Que sera que sera what will be will be The future is not ours to see But I do When I dream Hey apathy Will you kill the pain inside of me? Hey apathy You give me all that i need
2.
Prelude 06:22
She walks above me on the wire Like a performer in the circus I burn below her in the fire Waiting for her chemicals to lose their balance (Then I will devour) Wish I may I wish I might become the apple of your eye With a butterfly net I’ll catch you She pulls me like an undertow, a wilderness, a puppet show With a butterfly knife she’ll cut you I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I would do anything you want She can see right into my soul She blows her kisses through the holes This ache of love is nothing new, the poison on the sugar cube That smile may prove to be just as lethal She dances like an angel with her halo ‘round her ankles And her heart on her sleeve, and it’s beating for me I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I would do anything you want I will do anything you want
3.
You claim that nothing makes it go away There’s nothing I could do or say To make you stay This world All it does is cause you pain So you must “alleviate” To make you sane La la la la la La la la la la La la la la la La la la la la In space The stars all lose their names And no one knows my face And I will find my place Among the fallen saints There's no earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going There’s no knowing where we’re rowing Or which way the river’s flowing In space The stars all lose their names And no one knows my face And I will find my place Among the fallen saints Among the fallen saints Among the fallen saints Among the fallen
4.
There's no earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going There’s no knowing where we’re rowing Or which way the river’s flowing
5.
Ghost 06:05
If I close my eyes I can see the way your body lie You never leave my mind Like a melody you mesmerize I can hardly sleep haunted by the scent Of you in my sheets How could I forget I can see it clear Haunted by the sex In my ceiling mirror Now you see her Now you don’t Like a fever Like a ghost If I close my eyes I can still feel the way you burned deep inside And you, you never leave my mind You’ve become a phantom, a fantasy, I promised I’d never say…goodbye If I sleep As deep as I can I’ll find in dreams I can have anything In dreams I have you back
6.
Déjà Vu 04:09
All the world is a stage But won’t you please tell me your real name? I swear I won’t tell a soul Eyes burn like the fires of hell I can’t help myself I am under your spell I come inside Lights flash and shine Flesh moves all over the room Sweat, sex and perfume Make your dreams come true (she says) “I’ve been dancing here all night long and I have been waiting for you” She takes me by the hand and leads me into her confessional booth I tell her of my sins, she grinds my lap and she grins, asks me “baby is this where it hurts?” Strangers have the sweetest candy and this one's offering hers I fantasize What it'd be like Inching deeper inside I could eat you alive
7.
Déjà Vu. 04:09
I’ve been waiting here all night long for you, where have you been? She wraps her arms around my waist and says she had to work late again Then the tears cascade down the devils angel soft skin She takes my shaking hands and puts them on her heart and tells me “This is where it hurts, and this is where it ends” Cause all the high heels and short skirts Just make the pain that much worse You know the highs are lasting so much shorter than they ever did before, is this what you think you deserve? Is this what you believe that we deserve? We could run away Let me get you out of this place this place We can go to San Francisco or your sisters in L.A. We can become something different, yeah maybe we can be saved She says “Oh darling, all the world’s a stage” and she says “Oh darling, all the world’s a stage”
8.
Hangman 02:56
I wrote you a song To remember me when I’m gone I know what I’ve done And i know there is no place to run The trap is set like the sun, soon my neck and my shadow will both stretch long My future hangs on a thread, dangling at the bottom of a beam on that hill No kingdom come No forgiveness, and no pardon Just the beat of his drum Is the last song, for the hangman, he comes
9.
Driving down the freeway with my eyelids shut Counting fast frantic seconds, until I open them up You’ve got your hand on the wheel, I’ve got my foot on the gas Time slows down like honey, I let go, I feel alive at last Here in the womb we feel so light The street lights start to blossom and scribble in the sky We drove for miles and miles, highs angels, through the fog With our hearts on fire, waves of pleasure, burning surging through our blood You and me Are thin as weeds Tonight we’ll be As thick as thieves Our eyes we’re swallowed up by black ink pools Inhibitions and clothes flew away like balloons My aura burst at the seams, we cleaned and purged our souls Mascara ran all down her cheeks, she never looked more beautiful I kept my heart safe in a tourniquet Bound and caged in my ribs, to keep from bleeding to death She let it loose from its prison, she went and made it her pet She promised to return it the day the smoke returned to her cigarette You and me We’re thin as weeds In time our dreams Would die like leaves
10.
Camerman 03:36
You’re my favorite movie star And don’t you try and tell me That everything is happening for a reason The cameras are rolling And chaos is all that they’re seeing The villain of the scene Is the voyeur watching everything From the safety of his screen How many sidewalks have you thrown up on? Baby how many bathrooms have you fucked in? Maybe I could have saved you but I was just your cameraman Glass of wine and she’s feeling fine She feels the sunrise on the inside Though it’s the middle of the night A couple bottles later and she starts to wonder How she’ll hide her suicide from the neighbors But she’s not brave enough to try Can’t hide The killer in those eyes They illuminate at night How many sidewalks have you thrown up on? Baby how many bathrooms have you fucked in? Maybe I could have saved you but I was just your cameraman Tell me how many hits till you feel better? Baby how many licks to get to your center? I want you now more than ever, it’s sickening
11.
Sandcastle 04:41
Someday my body Will return to the sea And I’ll shed off my armor To release my true being And my skeleton will wash shore On a distant land And children will fashion my bones into a castle Atop the sand And it will be magnificent, yeah suited for a king And people will travel from far just to see A sculpture of perfection, something wonderful and grand Something far greater, then when those bones held up a man
12.
Time Machine 10:00
If you had a time machine And you could go back to only one moment What would you say? Would you be afraid? To see him through the window of his room Lying on his bed, big thoughts in his head Dreaming of you Counting on you Green glow-in-the-dark sticker stars Swirling in a ceiling fan galaxy And posters on the walls of the gods He was predetermined to grow up to be Did I do all I could do? Did I give all that I had? Did I listen to my heart… Or my head? To sit down with the ten year old little “you” And explain to him why none of his dreams come true What would you say? (Kyrie) Would you be ashamed? (Kyrie) Green glow-in-the-dark sticker stars Swirling in a ceiling fan galaxy And posters on the walls of the gods He was predetermined to grow up to be Did you do all you could do? Did you give all that you had? Did you listen to the child in your heart? Our heart …my heart

about

Creating this record has been a very long, personal adventure now spanning five years. It was back in 2009 that I decided I was ready to commit to the massive challenge of engineering my first solo record. To create something pure, for better or worse, free from artistic compromise of any kind. But it takes a village to raise a child and this child knew nothing of computers, let alone how to produce a polished record. My good friend Trevor Parscal not only gave me the encouragement I needed, but even more practical...his old apple computer equipped with recording software.
...And so it began.

(Note: my laptop containing all of this music was stolen out of my home the day after I finished mixing the final track...but I was extraordinarily fortunate to get it back just a few hours after it was stolen. After all those years of work, It came so close to never happening.)

So, I would like to thank the people who helped bring this record into fruition.

To my Mother and Father,
You have supported my musical endeavors from the time I pressed my first piano keys. My father, whom (unbeknownst to my grandparents and mom) let me cash in one or two college bonds so to pay for my first bass guitar when i was 16 and needed it to start a band. But more importantly, in doing so, sending the message that he had my back, and believed in what I was trying to do. (That bass guitar is used on this very record.)
Thanks to my mother, who tolerated me setting up a makeshift recording studio in the living room (when I was forced to move back home for what was then, the first time) and then also in my sisters old bedroom. (for what was then, the second time returning home.) And for all of the love a mother could give to her 20-something, anxiety stricken, musically obsessed son, who wasn't always in the sunniest of moods.

Trevor Parscal,
Thank for your vast computer knowledge you patiently shared with me, and always replying to my countless texts and calls, at all hours of the day and night, to answer my seemingly endless line of technical questions. This Record would not exist without your friendship.

Sarah Bridges,
Apart from a long list of other unrelated gratitudes...I'd like to thank you for loaning me your computer speakers when I could not yet afford proper studio monitors...For listening to my hundreds of revisions and remixes of songs. For bringing a piano into your home, just for me to play...for all of your patience, and all of your love, I am forever grateful.

Brian Espinosa,
Thank you for all of your hard work making and maintaining my website, for helping me "acquire" the very programs I used when making the record, and for loaning me that beautiful guitar that I used in so many recordings.

Jennifer Fertado,
Thank you for letting me use your devilishly angelic voice on so many songs...and for never shying away from the provocative lyrics I made you sing.

Joe Perez,
Thank you for lending me all your various talents over the years, whether vocally, instrumentally, or visually. And for always being an objective ear, letting me purge grandiose, manic ideas onto you. Our conversations always leave me feeling more enthusiastic.

Chris Pagan,
Thank you for dusting off the old trumpet for me and laying down that triumphant part. Also for recording my piano song in monterey. (Didn't know at the time, that little piece would make an appearance on the record but it worked out well.)

Devin Dobson,
Thank you for the exceptional work on my music videos, and for your patience, creativity, and generosity. You helped bring my visions to life, and helped make some of my wildest dreams come true.

Danny Casentini and Robbie Kimzey,
Thank you for spending that day with me in your rehearsal room recording drum parts. Even though the recording that day did not make it into the album, that performance heavily inspired what would end up being the final version.

And finally, to all of the characters that have come into my life, who've inspired music and given me such rich memories, thank you.
...wherever you are.


_Michael

credits

released October 31, 2014

All music and lyrics written, performed, and engineered by Michael Musumeci except where noted.

Mastered by Scott Goodrich at NuTone studios.

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